We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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