I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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