My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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