What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
