69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
