I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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