need another drink. this is the easiest way
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
