I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
