I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
