Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
