Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
