My hand turned me down
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
