hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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