Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
