Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
