so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
