How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
