How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
