Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
