Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
