Best friends brother. Beat that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
