It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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