do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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