Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
