I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
