last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
