What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
