I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm too high and old for this...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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