I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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