we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
