I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
