I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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