Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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