hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
