Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
