my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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