I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
