Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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