Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
