It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
