Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
