Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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