dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he puts the penis in happiness.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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