Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
