The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
