you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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