I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
