Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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