dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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