Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
