You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
