Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
